August 11, 2009It seems like I've been working way too much lately, even though my paycheck doesn't show it. Pearl and I just take too long getting ready in the morning, lounging around, watching cartoons, not getting dressed or eating breakfast or combing our hair... oh wait that's just Pearl! By the time we roll into work and I get my hours in, it seems like it's time for dinner. Then because I've usually stayed up late the night before enjoying the quiet of the house, I'm cranky and tired and not really in the mood to do much. It's a vicious cycle that I can't seem to find the motivation to stop. It dawned on me tonight, as I again left Pearl to go shopping for picture-worthy outfits alone, that I haven't been able to play much with Pearl. We wake up, go to work/school where she usually clings to my legs and begs me to stay and play with her and the big kids, go home, eat, clean, then go to bed. When I got home tonight, Pearl was already in the tub. Another long day and not more than a few hours spent with just her. When this precious little face looks at me and says "Mom guess what?" or "Mom listen" or "Mom hold you" I just melt. How do I find that balance in life with working and being a mom? Guess it's just been on my mind lately and one of those times when you feel like whatever you're doing, whether it's working or staying home, is wrong. But oh this little face just makes me smile and is the best reminder of what is truly important in life.
3 comments:
I hear ya! Nicole
Hang in there! I fasted and prayed and begged for four years before we found a way for me to stay home. After being home with Kaleb his whole life I finally realized how much I missed with the first two. It's hard, but it will all work out. Just keep doing your best!
You failed to mention the frustration released by your husband that got you up off the couch and moving :)
Maybe you can give up your late nights that you think you "deserve"
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